Best Day Ever (transcript)

"Best Day Ever" from season four, which aired on November 10, 2006.
 * SpongeBob: ♪Mr. Sun came up, and he smiled at me. Said, "It's gonna be a good one just wait and see." Jumped out of bed and I ran outside feeling so extra ecstatified. It's the best day ever!♪
 * Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
 * SpongeBob: Hey, Gary.
 * Gary: Meow.
 * SpongeBob: Why is this the best day ever you ask? Because, Gary, I get to start this wonderful day bringing life to a whole new generation of delicious Krabby Patties, followed by a vigorous mid-day session of karate with Sandy, and an afternoon jellyfishing with Patrick, where I'll unveil my newest, most prized possession: the Deluxe Jelly Slayer Composite Pro! And for the grand finale, every one of my closest friends joining together for Squidward's clarinet recital. I am so excited I think I'm gonna explode! [explodes into pieces then walks out of his house] ♪It's the best day ever♪
 * Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
 * SpongeBob: ♪It's the best day ever♪
 * Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
 * SpongeBob: ♪It's the best day ever♪
 * Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
 * SpongeBob: ♪It's the best day ever♪
 * Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
 * [SpongeBob laughs then tries opening the door to the Krusty Krab but can't because it's locked]
 * Mr. Krabs: Get out of the way, boy! [SpongeBob flies off the door and bounces into Mr. Krabs] Me building's been condemned, boy. We got ourselves a nematode infestation. [Nematodes come and eat the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs faints]
 * SpongeBob: But... the best day ever starts at the Krusty Krab. Guys, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave [nematodes eat his pants] Ow! Guys, you're ruining the [off-key] best day... [clears throat] Wait, no. [off-key] Best day... [plays his nose as a flute. The nematodes line up. When SpongeBob stops, the nematodes walk up] Huh? [plays the 'best day ever' tune. The nematodes chatter excitedly. They follow SpongeBob]
 * Mr. Krabs: [sighs] Keep playing, lad! Take them devil sons of the sea away from me restaurant! [later, SpongeBob stops playing and falls over due to being tired. The nematodes fall asleep, also. SpongeBob's watch beeps]
 * SpongeBob: Whoa! I gotta get to Sandy's! [scene cuts to Sandy's treedome. SpongeBob opens up her door then jumps behind a bush] Wait till Sandy gets a load of these adhesive karate gloves. Hyah! [karate chops the box the gloves were in. Then he chuckles and jumps onto the top of the treedome and sticks due to his gloves. He moves above her tree and falls through it and lands on a tree branch then jumps at her] Hyah! [Sandy ducks and SpongeBob hits her buckets of water]
 * Sandy: [standing on a ladder, using a bucket to catch water in] SpongeBob, what on earth are you doing?!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, just a little something I like to call karate.
 * Sandy: I can't right now, SpongeBob. I got a leak in my roof the size of a full-grown quarter horse!
 * SpongeBob: Mm-hmm. I see. Ok, then I'll come back later. [walks off but then reappears by Sandy and tries to karate chop her]
 * Sandy: Knock... it... off. [punches SpongeBob up high. The leak stops] It stopped? SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: Yeah?
 * Sandy: Hang on. I'm going to get some sealant and patch and trowel! [runs into her treedome]
 * SpongeBob: [groans] Oh. [slips out of his glove and falls. Scene cuts to SpongeBob walking to Jellyfish Fields] Oh. No Krabby Patties, no karate. At least I have jellyfishing with... Hey, there he is now! [sees Patrick chasing a jellyfish] Wait for me, Patrick. I've got a brand-new... [Patrick is crying] What's wrong, Patrick?
 * Patrick: I broke my net! [sobbing]
 * SpongeBob: Well, lucky for you, I brought my old net. [Patrick grabs it]
 * Patrick: For me? [giggles]
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, I won't be needing it now that I got my brand-new... [Patrick's jellyfish net breaks. He cries]
 * Patrick: [bawling] SpongeBob, I broke... could I use this one? [points to SpongeBob's new net]
 * SpongeBob: Well, actually, Patrick, that's my brand-new net.
 * Patrick: Yeah? [cut to later where SpongeBob is waiting for his net while Patrick uses it]
 * SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, it's my turn, now. [Patrick ignores him] Hey, Patrick? Pat, old buddy. P-Patrick? It's-it's my turn now. [sighs] I guess I'll see you at the concert. [cut to SpongeBob walking at night to the concert. sadly] It's the best day ever. It's the best day ever. Oh, this best day ever isn't going so good. [takes out notebook and pencil and cancels "Jellyfishing w/ Patrick"] No work, no karate, no jellyfishing. Hey, I still have Squidward's concert! I won't let this one slip through my fingers. [cut to Squidward bawling outside the Bikini Bottom Recreation Center, in his uniform] Hey, Squidward. Squidward, what's wrong?
 * Squidward: The concert is ruined. My reed is shot. [shows it] See? I'm finished.
 * SpongeBob: [slaps Squidward] Pull yourself together, man! I came for here a concert, and darn it, I am gonna get one!
 * Squidward: [sobbing] But my reed! [SpongeBob pulls one of his front teeth out and uses it as a reed]
 * SpongeBob: Now play!
 * Squidward: But... [SpongeBob slaps him]
 * SpongeBob: I said play! [Squidward plays]
 * Squidward: Not bad. [SpongeBob slaps him again]
 * SpongeBob: Now get in there and give me a concert to remember. [outside usher grabs him]
 * Usher: Where do you think you're going, kid?
 * SpongeBob: I'm going to see Squidward play his clarinet. Today's my best day ever. [take a ticket] Thanks.
 * Dr. Marmalade: Excuse me, Usher. What are you doing in my door.
 * Usher: Where's you're ticket?
 * Lord Reginald: 2 tickets, coming right up, Captain! [searches his pocket] Must be here somewhere. [takes off his pants and dumps out what is in it] I don't have a no ticket.
 * Usher: You’re going to Best Day Ever.
 * Lord Reginald: But...
 * Usher: Ice Cream! One Ticket! [cut to a SpongeBob puppet on strings coming down]
 * SpongeBob Puppet: Oh, dear. I don't have a ticket. But I want to go to this show. Hmmm... what should I do? Oh, I know. I'll just sneak in the back door. [leaves]
 * Usher: Oh, no you don't! [runs after him as SpongeBob climbs down the wall, laughing]
 * SpongeBob: SpongeBob, you are so... [walks backwards into an usher puppet]
 * Usher Puppet: Ticket, please. [Later, SpongeBob, wearing a ski mask, is climbing up the side of the building and through the vent on the roof. He uses a flamethrower to cut his way through a door, which is actually the entry doors. The usher kicks him away from the building. Cut to later, where Mrs. Puff drives up in her boat and gets out, walking up to the usher]
 * Usher: Ticket, ma'am.
 * Mrs. Puff: Certainly. [reaches into her purse. She hears some giggling and takes out what it is] Tom?
 * Usher: You? This time I'm gonna... Wait a minute! Did you say Tom? Tom and Jerry? You're on the VIP list. [the usher carries Tom and Jerry on a pillow to his seat]
 * SpongeBob: [gasps] A reserved seat? Next to my friends? I made it! All I have to do is sit down... [everyone applauds as the curtains close, and SpongeBob completely loses it. yells in frustration as everyone looks at him in confusion] NO! (jumps on stage and tears the curtain) No! It is not over!
 * Fish: Huh?
 * SpongeBob: This was supposed to be my perfect day. But then everything... [a fish gets up and starts to leave. screams] SIT DOWN! [the fish does] Then everything turned to doo-doo. [Mr. Krabs, Patrick and Sandy go upstage with him]
 * Mr. Krabs: It's okay, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: No, it's not okay! [his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch] This was going to be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world: working at the Krusty Krab.
 * Mr. Krabs: Boy, you saved me barnacle the way you put the run on them nematodes.
 * SpongeBob: [sniffles] Yeah, I guess so. But then I was going to do karate with Sandy.
 * Sandy: I know, but you saved the treedome! Pretty cool, if you ask me.
 * SpongeBob: Well, I suppose. But then I was going to go jellyfishing with Patrick.
 * Patrick: But then you... Uh, what'd you do again?
 * Squidward: And, I hate to admit it, but I suppose if you hadn't fixed my reed, the concert would have been a bust.
 * Mr. Krabs: You see, SpongeBob, it's not about you or your perfect day or any of those things.
 * SpongeBob: [starting to feel calm] It's not?
 * Mr. Krabs: No. [chuckles] It's about us!
 * SpongeBob: It is?
 * Mr. Krabs: Yep. And since you did such a good job, we wanna make it up to you.
 * SpongeBob: You do?
 * Mr. Krabs: So, just tell us anything your little heart desires, and it's yours. [Tom and Jerry smiles and scene cuts to Mr. Krabs coming on stage with the light shining on him] Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, Warner Bros. Animation present a Turner Entertainment, Inc. production of... "Tom and Jerry." And it better be good for all it's costing me.
 * SpongeBob: ♪My perfect job starts my perfect day.♪ [flips a patty] ♪Then it's time to kick back, relax and play.♪ [practices karate with Sandy. She kicks him. He land next to Patrick. Jellyfishes comes up in the scene]
 * Mr. Krabs: That wasn't in the budget!
 * SpongeBob: ♪Sing along. Hear that happy sound♪
 * Patrick: ♪Don't let those sour notes bring you down.♪
 * Squidward: Hey!
 * SpongeBob: ♪That's where it's at!♪ [crashes spotlight]
 * Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying for that!
 * Dr. Marmalade: ♪It's the best day ever♪
 * Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
 * Lord Reginald: ♪It's the best day ever♪
 * Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
 * Professor Percy: ♪It's the best day ever♪
 * Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
 * Tom and Jerry: ♪It's the best day ever♪
 * Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
 * Squidward: How long do we have to keep this up?
 * Mr. Krabs: Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out